SADDED

was talking to maryse just now about loving oneself. and as usual the first thing that came to my mind was her. late nights and fervernt mugging. till the point which she gets sick. i don't know lah, feelings aside and all, i think its really stupid. and now you're not even wiling to tell me why you never come school? forgive me, but its like after that small talk we had about working thorugh the night after tapestry that day, i felt like i just had to say this. i mean, ok, maybe i don't know the stress of juggling nats, school, church, friends, family, feelings and a great destiny all at once. maybe i don't know what its like to fail after studying so hard cause i myself don't put in as much effort. maybe i don't know the thousand and one things going through your mind. problems, emotions, whatever. but i know that we have to love ourselves. there is no point, and i repeat no point, if you mug allllll the way, through sleepless nights, and, like what my aunt tells me, you fall sick on the exam day itself and everything goes to waste. and you regret and blame yourself for what had happened. i dunno if its just me or what, but from a friend's point of view, its just wrong. why not just strike a balance? do work till 11 or probably 12 for you and sleep. you said before that you're trusting things to God, i'm not saying you don't have to put in your 10% before God does his 90%, but seiously, if you trust God, you won't be, like what wei xiang said, kia su. trust that what you're doing IS sufficient. trust that God won't let you down after all the effort you put in. trust that it is'nt neccessary for you to endure so much just because you want to push yourself. most importantly, trust that God will help you. and i'm sure our Lord wants you to love yourself as much as he loves you. so i'm telling you, just love yourself. please. it does'nt feel good to watch on as a friend and it's even harder to watch on when you've got these feelings that won't go. i'm not saying that i'm right. i'm not expecting you to get touched after reading this and change. no, its you, and i like you for who you are. i just want things to not continue the way they are. my wish is'nt your command, so its up to you. i'm not a leader in church or have forseen a great destiny for myself, so i don't expect you to agree with me on the part of God. i'm not particularly hardworking, so i don't expect you to accept what i'm saying seeing that it is'nt coming from someone who shares your troubles. and maybe i'm being a little harsh with this post. maybe i'm wrong. maybe i'm over-reacting. but i just wanna say i hope you know somebody out there cares. and it hurts to see you like that.

remember the verse you showed me. Exodus 14:14
"The Lord will fight for you, and all you have to do is keep still"