ISSUES.

past few days have been...super-duper pek-cek. and i'd better come here and vent all my frustrations out before i go for the match tomorrow. so here goes. bryan's issues, the past few days gone by.

firstly. a big THANK YOU AH, to eechun. how was i supposed to know what fuck time you wanted me alert the band about your decision to quit? i'm supposed to telepathy with you is it? NO RIGHT?! then why come and scold me and say its my fault that you're out of the band? huh huh? you just want someone to shoulder the blame for you right. fuck lah. i was the one who stood up for you when i told them that you wanted to quit. i was the one who asked them not to harbour any ill feelings about you and your 'fickle-mindedness" (according to them). i was the one who actually bothered to msn you and ask you why you felt like quiting the band. how the HECK was i supposed to know that you wanted me to tell the band that you wanted to quit earlier in the day? how was i suppsosed to know that you told them yourself that you wanted to quit and THEN join back again all before i told them that you wanted to quit? which resulted in them thinking you were somone who did'nt treat the whole thing seriously? i'm not some bloody scrapegoat or what leh. i know in your eyes i'm someone who does'nt dare to speak up to people about things i'm unhappy about, esp. since you were one of the people i talked to about the transposing song thing. that does NOT mean you can climb over my head and shit! maybe you're sad or maybe you mis-understood. still, you don't have to publicise BIG BIG on your blog right? as if the whole DAMN issuse about you getting kicked out is my ENTIRE fault. i hate to be wrongly accused. you should know that. thats the reason why i dislike mrs.wong. so you should know why i'm so angry, i did'nt do anything wrong. it was a mis-communication. so don't come dumping the blame on me that you're out. i don't want to lose a good friend in this way. but i hate the way you've seen things.

second, ryan. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be yourself! don't do things just because the people around you think its good for you! you don't have to make the people around you happy at your own expense. you say its ok with you, but its not, cause you're forcing it. i dont care if the ethically correct thing to do is to forget about yeeting after she "dumped" you. but if you still like her, then DON'T force yourself to pretend you're over her and put on the smile and facade everytime the topic is yeeting. please ryan. i feel its better if you just feel what you want to. some things don't have to be bottled up. most of all, know that your duty in life is NOT to make the people around you happy by doing things agaisnt your will. you are obliged to do so, but you do not have to. this is what i feel, hope it does'nt offend you. i'm not sure what i'm saying is correct, in the boy-girl relationship sense of the word. but, yeah. i don't like to see you hide behind a mask. you can tell one ryan, that you're not that comfortanble saying yeeting's out of your mind.

third, jamming. i did'nt sleep for 2 days. i played soceer almost the whole of yesterday. i stayed at shaun thia's house which can be quite draining. so i'm tired. i'm not sad, i'm not emo. just that tired people are grouchy people and thats why i got a irritated when we were made to wait. i admit, part of the reason why i was upset today was ryan (see issuse 2). i know its childish to get angry over a friend who does'nt seem to embrace facts, but thats who i am. yeah.

ok, so frustration vented. issues vetted. these are my issues and i don't want anyone to be offended by them, esp. ryan. my sincere apologies to whoever this post offends.

oh yeah. while in my "reflection-time" just now, i remembered the phrase, "do not onto others what you do not want others to do onto you". so i decided to stop going around and teasing people, esp. joan (y'know, saying shes rich and all that) . i don't want to be sort of an irritant. though sometimes teasing with a little bit of wit can liven up the occasion. yeah, i think i'll still tease people, but not on stuff i know will irrtate them, or make them tsk, or make them -.- . yup, i'll try!

till next time then. wish me luck for tomorrow's cup thingy.

thank you Lord for a good exam. i pray me and eechun's stuff gets ironed out.