BOTAK!

don's like asking me to confirm about going to shave bald for the cancer thingy. sigh..

i really, really, really want to do my part to make the cancer patients feel more accpeted. trust me, i do. it's not like i've never been bald/botak before right? well, i have. and that's the part that i'm scared of.

being botak brings back a lot of un-pleasant memories. when i was botak, i was fat too. when i was botak, i was ignorant to what was dress-sense. when i was botak, i was laughed at for looking like a nerd. when i was botak, i hardly stood up for myself. when i was botak, i was mostly everything i've ever tried to escape from.

i know i sound really superficial. i'll admit, that a large part of me having doubts about being botak or not wanting to be reminded of the past revolves around one issue. vanity. i'll admit, i am pretty conscious about my image. well, i know i'm not exactly mr.universe or world's sexiest man as it is, but..still. i want to look as good as i can. you may think it's an attitude flaw, you may think i've changed, you may think i'm a loser. well, i've always been this way. ever since that incident in sec1. or else, why'd you think i made an effort to lose weight in the first place?

ok, this is just making making up my mind harder for me. hahaha, though i can tell you i'm freaking compelled to do it. seriously. sigh!

sigh, this is like those kinds of decision you know? i don't really know how to put it into words, just that, i am pretty confused at the moment.

over hair. how cute, hahaha.

well, what'd you think of me if i did shave?